I've been to Southampton but I've never been to Scunthorpe

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

Thanks to jauntyalan I have had young person's #1 hit parade topper 'Pass Out' by Tinie Tempah stuck in my head since last night. The idea is to emulate the immortal line "got so many clothes I keep 'em at my aunt's house". Here's what I've thought up on Twitter so far:

Thanks to Tufty Club the streets are now safer/Celebrating with a Tunnocks Caramel Wafer

Got a screwdriver but it isn’t sonic/my nana’s favourite drink is gin and tonic

I went to High Barnet got the tube back/put up my Smash Hits posters with some Blu Tack

I’m quicker than the fitters at a Kwik-Fit/Well I would be if I wasn’t stuck with Pritt Stick

I dropped a bit of chocolate on the keyboard/Michael Winner’s car is probably E-sured

I went down the chippie for a fish-cake/I’m sorry Tinie Tempah for the piss-take

At Glastonbury toilets are called long-drops/accidentally put my paper in the wrong box*

Can you lot do any better?

*Local council election woes! Apparently it didn't matter. Remember to come to POPTIMISM tomorrow for pumping democratic tunes!

Comments

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

Other orgafun on hold because I'm busy/There's a Bow rapper goes by the name of Dizzee

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

I wonder if there will be any comments/Haringey is twinned with the city of Koblenz

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

As expected there is only tumbleweed/Robyn often dresses as a bumblebee

work domestic minutiae edition

[piratemoggy.livejournal.com]

brought my pasta lunch to school in tupperware/now I'm taking compliments about my hair

students buying coke from the machine that's out of date/if you're at a polling booth there'll be a wait

[meserach.livejournal.com]

when you're doing rap good scansion is important/keep the syllabic content in each line constant

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

The only trouble's stressing on the wrong word/My English Language teacher would have concurred

[jauntyalan.livejournal.com]

OH TICK VG

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

Ticking boxes is the basis of an election/it's a format for which I hold much affection

[jauntyalan.livejournal.com]

there's a temptation to alan bennett or 'pitman it up'

a bourbon or a rich tea is my favourite
i'd eat a cake but it's really not the day f'r it

[jauntyalan.livejournal.com]

my room's a mess, i don't care, it's tuesday
dogs got on my bed, he's messin up my duvet

[catsgomiaow.livejournal.com]

I got up, I voted, I came in to work/Now co-worker here is acting like a berk

Later on tonight I'll be going down to B-mo/then heading back later to Mill Hill and P-Mo

I want a cup of tea now so I'll put on the kettle/Hmm what kind should I have? Maybe peppermint or NETTLE

an ode to the spiralling food prices in London town

[catsgomiaow.livejournal.com]

For lunch at 12.30 I had a lovely sammich/THREE POUND THIRTY was the m******ing damage!

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

Bwah-ha-ha's the noise I made while lolling/At Katie's recap of her water boiling

[piratemoggy.livejournal.com]

i stayed up all night watching the election/got a can of red bull for my delection