Let's talk about TOTAL HOARS.

[piratemoggy.livejournal.com]

No, rly.

There's been a tendency for quite some time for srs critics (ie: heat magazine, Perez Hilton...) to scream 'SL4G!' at various popstars for having suggestive videos/lyrics or going out with no pants on or daring to lock lips with an age-appropriate member of the opposite sex. Some songs, like 'Dirrrty' are obviously meant to be about Having It Off quite a bit and posing in FHM never makes you look coy but even so, it's the suggestion of slvttery rather than actual slvuttery. The Pussycat Dolls may have started off as strippers but 'Buttons' is as sexually explicit as they get and their clothing is no slvttier than Malibu Barbie's, in fact considerably less so most of the time. Even Ho-rap generally keeps control of the situation, leading to a degree of respect at least being demanded of the listener, whether they give it or not.

This year, though, there seem to have been a number of at least semi-mainstream releases that just circumnavigate the "suggestive" bit, say respect is for the unambitious and leap straight into "advanced slvttery" without losing a false eyelash. Let us consider, for instance, Girlicious.
Here is the actual, genuine, finished official video for ladylike ballad "Stupid Sh1t":

No seriously, that is the official video. I do not lie to you. I actually like the song, really, quite a lot but whilst I didn't see the show that created Girlicious, I assume this is the culmination of a series of tests to see who was the biggest hoar. Whilst not all their videos are quite that insanely cheap, that does without any shadow of a doubt smack of "advert for new range of feminine hygiene products for the working girl."

Girlicious do also have the song 'Like Me' which is a sort of boast-off between the group concerning which of them brings more boys to the yard, etc. and contains the memorable phrasing:
If I had a stiff one
You'd be all on that (I'm on fire)
Which has fascinating sexual polical connotations (and is quite cute in dealing with girlcrushes, if anything about Girlicious can possibly called 'cute') possibly if anyone can be arsed to work up a heavy thought process regarding the lyrics of a Girlicious song and is followed in the rest of the song by the comment by one of the girls that no one else could get as many boys as her because "it aint easy being easy, baby." Quite right, too- I for one could not walk four feet in stripper heels, let alone dance in them.

Then let us consider Danity Kane, who've been mentioned before but deserve mentioning again. Their new(ish) product, 'Welcome To The Dollhouse' is almost certainly one of my top albums of the year and I love it lots, yet they are a bunch of what can only be described as 'fame-hungry sl4gs' so epic that I have a total lack of empathy with the whole thing. Here, for your delection, is 'Strip Tease;' a demure work considering the transitory process between being clothed and nudity:

Believe me, I really love that bit where it goes "and I just can't keep my clothes from falling down" but this does rather reach into an almost-parodical zone where the usual sniffy comments re: popstars' clothes falling off become inspirational posters.

Then of course we have Tila Tequila, whose cover of Pop Open track 'Stripper Friends' by Aimee Allen takes the concepts of Low-rent Hoardom to what must surely be identifiable as the closest point to their zenith yet reached:

Aside from the fact the cover is absolutely horrible (especially since some of Tila's own songs or at least songs I don't recognise as covers are sort-of good) to a point where I actually had to check I wasn't accidentally playing two songs at once several time whilst listening to it, since I honestly believed no one could have even semi-released something with such messed up beats, Tila is something else, really. Girlicious and the Danitys look like amateurs compared to her and indeed (and by no means do I mean this in a sort of 'HA!' way) afaik, Tila was an actual stripper at some point.

Still, as previously mentioned, the Pussycat Dolls are quite tame despite stripper origins and there's always Tila's appearance on 'I Like To Fvck' by (also featuring Hot Rod & B Dozier) which alexmacpherson posted earlier in the month but which I shall embed again now in case you missed it:

As Lex said at the time, the bar has been raised by that.

The questions I wish to put to the poptimists panel are thus:
-How do we all feel about this? Does it make you want to tell them to put some clothes on? Do you find it offensive? Does it titillate you? Do you just not care about the whole thing?
-What other examples of Hoar-Pop are there around? I would like to add to my collection, since I find it interesting in an anthropological way.

Did Her Name Is Nicole ever get released/leak, semi-relatedly?

Also, totally unrelatedly, have we had a thread about the new Cyndi Lauper album? If not, can we have one?

Comments

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

In continued suburban sitcom "when will Tom get to see the naughty videos" fun, I have now got back from the open-plan office to discover my mother-in-law has arrived to visit the baby.

[piratemoggy.livejournal.com]

Poptimists sitcom now! Oh dear, I am worryingly tempted to write that.