(Early Morning Poetry): Puff Daddy in Fiddler on the Roof

[mcatzilut.livejournal.com]

I heard this poem once at an open mic and searched for it desperately. By chance, I stumbled upon it last night, and I love it, and it's hysterical, and it's about Puff Daddy, and since I haven't slept in awhile, I decided it would be fun to post it. Enjoy!

Puff Daddy in Fiddler on the Roof
by Jay Michaelson

Free Puff Daddy!
He was wrongly
prosecuted, and is now
a prisoner of the media.
Even if he did have that gun,
that one time,
in the bar,
he was probably only going to use it
to defend himself
against the mainstream press
that hounded him
and has persecuted him
since the day he made them jealous
with his insane wealth
and his clever appropriation
of Jimmy Page,
and others.

What is happening to Puff Daddy
is exactly like a pogrom.
Except, it is not in Eastern Europe.
And property was not destroyed, and people weren’t killed,
and of course, Puff Daddy is not Jewish.
On the outside.

However, Puff Daddy identifies
with oppressed minorities.
He is, in that way, a hero.
He is like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof.
Puff Daddy should star in Fiddler on the Roof.
Picture it:
Hodel... Puff Daddy
Perchik... Puff Daddy
Yente... Puff Daddy
The tailor mottel kamzoil... Puff Daddy
Golde... Puff Daddy
Fruma Sara... Jennifer Lopez
and Lazar Wolf: Puff Daddy

Puff Daddy redeems our captives.
He choked the fire of Baal.
Give the man a chance.
Do not convict him of gun possession.
Only free men
have guns.