A kung fu fighter in a disco

I am pulling up the drawbridge when it comes to Xmas songs because I HATE XMAS BAH HUMBUG. The only one of the new ones I can stand is 'Last Christmas' anyway. I am happy that Mariah got through before the deluge.

I remember Tom calling 'What Hurts The Most' a "dishwater ballad about nothing" when Racist Jo O'Meara first did it. I can't imagine it changed sufficiently to be any good at all.

ANYWAY the only stand-out this week is the amazing 'Bed': I reviewed J Holiday's album (http://arts.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,,2223302,00.html) last week and mostly just went on about how amazing 'Bed' was. SHOW LOVE Y'ALL.

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Oh look I come back from lunch and there it remains on ONE TICK. God GET SOME TASTE people (nb: this involves rescinding all ticks for Wizzard, ugh, and Slade, uggghhh).

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I think 'Bed' is terrible. The vocal is that weedy kind I really dislike and there's nothing about the music to fix on. I will try and think of songs of this ilk I like since Wayne Wonder's 'No Letting Go' (sounds totally different of course but is essentially doing the same thing but loads better) but could be tough.

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J Holiday's voice is not weedy at all! I don't get the 'No Letting Go' comparison, one is a reggae-lite summer jam which isn't particularly sexy, the other is an wintry r&b slow jam entirely about sex. And I love the music, that drip-drip-drip tantalising beat, the way the song ebbs and flows and constantly shifts.

Three things I particularly love about 'Bed':

1) The key change on "I'mma rock your body, turn you over..." - it's really unexpected, it kind of pulls the rug from under your feet (to stick with family-friendly metaphors)
2) The next line - "love is war, I'm your soldier" - recontextualising the whole 'soldier' cliché which is rather prevalent in r&b and hip-hop these days (not that I ever mind it, it's a good and satisfying cliché) - have never heard it used in quite these terms before
3) The absolutely TRANSCENDENTLY GORGEOUS outro - "I'mma send you out into the world with my love", as if he is Jesus and she is his disciple who is going to convert everyone using the power of great sex /// or indeed his love will be like a talisman for her, or armour, protecting her even though she's not with him? It's a brilliant line anyway

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I wish I could nail exactly why I like some (male-sung) love jams but hate others. Maybe I need a tinge of darkness or angst about it (the odd thing about 'No Letting Go' was that it didn't sound particularly joyous and upbeat) but I'm not sure it's that. Falsetto crooning is a huge turnoff to me. There's snow and then there's just SLUSH!

Actually the pad chords loop reminds me a little of Spiritualised's 'Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space', itself lifting from a classical piece I never remember the name of.

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'Actually the pad chords loop reminds me a little of Spiritualised's 'Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space', itself lifting from a classical piece I never remember the name of.'

Also used on Coolio's 'C U When U Get There'

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Also there is an amazing BASSLINE remix of 'Bed' which ABSOLUTELY KILLS!

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I've ticked it but srsly check out the Cascada! It's a great example of boshing up a song bringing out its inner diva.

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sbp.livejournal.com

Gosh that's a lot of xmas rereleases.

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Of course none of them actually are 're-releases', they're just qualifiers under digital rules. This is going to happen every year!

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yuxonomei.livejournal.com

Slade FTW!

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'Merry Xmas Everybody' is srsly probably the worst song ever though, wtf is with the love?

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http://freakytrigger.co.uk/ft/2007/10/slade-merry-xmas-everybody/ - I love it and this is why

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I am equidistant between Lex and Tom on this.

Low sales + download fad means it will be popping up at this time of year until 2012 at the earliest probably.

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carsmilesteve.livejournal.com

i love slade, but wizzard is better.

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Wizzard is terrible as well! They're both these...awful galumphing bellowing things which drive me up the wall. I associate them with nothing but dreadfulness, they're the aural equivalent of a scrum of Xmas shoppers. And indeed the number of times I have stormed out of shops because one or both of these is playing is countless, I cannot be in a room if I can hear them...

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carsmilesteve.livejournal.com

also did we ever do "now christmas" as a poll?

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I think we did some kind of Wobs canon last year.

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This is horrible. Roll on February.

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blue-russian.livejournal.com

but steve, it's the most wonderful time of the year! :P

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CASCADA - 2007 has generally been a poor year for bosh cover versions, except for "Uninvited" and Hi-Tack, most of the stuff I've been hearing has been really pedestrian BUT thank heaven for Cascada who give this old Racist Jo / Rascal Flatts song some full-on hands-in-the-air drama and power - there's an ACTUAL BELTING ANGRY SONG in there, who knew! In the video Miz Cascada is the GRUMPY ONE at a party, we've all been there I'm sure. BIG TICK.

NARCTIC MONEYS - OK spiky rumble from the Monkeys, the feller's voice is annoying me a bit, I get the impression that the lyrics are angry about modern culture! YOU TELL EM ARCTIC MONKEYS. Closer to a tick than imagined, but no.

THE ENEMY - Dudes if you all pooled your money you could probably get the ACTUAL "That's Entertainment" back in the charts!

PETER GELDERBLOM - DANGER NOW this is a Red Hot Chili Peppers remix. There are no numbers to mathematically express how much better this is than the original, but there's enough of said original for this to take the fast track out of ticksville.

J HOLIDAY - Slow jam which is horribly muffled on this YouTube video but is a bit gorgeous really and kind of tender though also a little unctious. Also I'm sure I've seen eyes rolling back used more often to describe being MOIDERED than coming. But definitely a TICK.

FOO FIGHTERS - sounds a bit like the Manics. Later Manics. No tick.

Of the others - Slade, Wizzard, Wham, Band Aid all excellent. Andy Williams and Shakey can bug off.

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jeff-worrell.livejournal.com

I've mellowed on the Shakey song a lot this year (I think it may have been that Son of Dork cover that Kat linked to wot did it!)

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I finally 'got' (as in started loving rather than merely liking) 'Bleeding Love' at the weekend, hurrah!

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katstevens.livejournal.com

She's sold 694,000 copies of Bleeding Love in SIX WEEKS. Fvck me that's a lot of records (for comparison, Umbrella sold 353,000 in ten weeks).

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katstevens.livejournal.com

Hits!TV is currently doing 'HitsMix' and they just did an awesome Beautiful Liar -> Clumsy -> Heartbroken!!!!!

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OMG awesome!!!

In light of Leona eating the world, 'Heartbroken's performance is even more impressive.

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ie I am eagerly awaiting a forthcoming DELUGE of bassline hits which will PURGE ALL THE INDIE from the charts!

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katstevens.livejournal.com

Elvis - usual rules apply, never heard it = no tick. I wonder how many people bought this by mistake instead of Leona?

Cascada - I totally can't remember Racist Jo's original. Hahahah Tom's OTM, this is a great bosh-up. The video is hilarious (mwahaha "I CANT SORRY") and the song is much less harsh than the usual Cascada offerings.

Arctic Monkeys - Conversely this is a rubbish rubbish video. GET ONE BUDGET BOYS. They are starting to look more and more like various characters off Hollyoaks IN A BAD WAY. Like most AM songs I really like the main riffs and the general pop song structure but his vocals and the lyrics are so clunking. Nearly a tick.

The Enemy - My God this chap is possibly the least charismatic man I have ever seen. Amazingly though, his voice is less annoying than the Arctic Monkeys bloke! He even looks a bit like Paul Weller, hahaha. Anyway, he should cheer up & be thankful he's not having to do the driving himself, the M62 can be a right nightmare in the dark. This isn't actually horrendous by any means, but I am this much ---][--- botherd.

Peter G - OH GOD. I can see why someone might have thought this was a good idea, but WHY keep Kiedis' grating vocal instead of getting the normal chipmunk woman to do it instead? Make this dude listen to some Scooter!

J Holiday - aww this is quite sweet. I like the gloopy drums. But I'm in a fussy mood. Sorry Lex, no tick.

Foo Fighters - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68qqyM-_K4w) oh dear. Song is pretty dire but Dave & co have pulled out another ace video with stupid wigs/moustaches.

Wham, Andy W, Slade: tick.
Shakin, Wizzard, Band Aid: no tick.

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The title and video of the Foo Fighters made me wonder if this is some kind of EAGLES BEEF.

Speaking of the Eagles who else has LARFFED at the tube ads for Long Road Out Of Eden - "REMEMBER WHEN MUSIC USED TO SOUND THIS GOOD", come on boys that's iPhone ad levels of patronising.

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koganbot

Are any of the Xmas songs actually new this year?

Christmas song I like from this year: Taylor Swift "Christmas When You Were Mine."

Christmas joke novelty that's somewhat more sociologically interesting than the usual Christmas joke novelty: Montgomery Gentry's "Merry Christmas From The Family" (but the original from Robert Earl Keen actually has a video).

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Not yet (newness of christmas songs). There's still 2 weeks though so it's possible some haven't been released yet.

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The Killers have "Don't Shoot Me Santa" in w/ an bullet at #44. WHAT THE HELL are they even up to (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5-irfEvGaE)?

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jeff-worrell.livejournal.com

Christmas song I like from this year: Taylor Swift "Christmas When You Were Mine."

Ooh! Didn't know about that one. *Goes to look for mp3*

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koganbot

What I ticked:

Cascada "What Hurts The Most": I have no idea what or who the original is, but this is a passionate heartbroken sentiment that finds the murder in the boshin' stompin' beats. Has LeAnn Rimes ever tried her hands and feet at bosh? She'd be excellent: would knock the furniture through the walls and make the curtains weep.

Peter Gelderblom "Waiting 4": Functional beats, washes, chord changes. The lame voice achieves beauty amidst all the blips.

What I didn't tick:

J. Holiday "Bed": The vocals are standard r&b prettiness; I like that the beats have been twisted into alien bubbles, but this is passing over me. (So how do I explain that Lloyd is going to be in my top ten with standard r&b vocal prettiness that's even less distinctive: well, Lloyd's arrangement gives him a whole bed of beauty to rest on, which "Bed"'s doesn't.)

The Enemy "We'll Live And Die In These Towns": This starts really nice, the way the horns weep into each other's eyes. But then there's the boring indie stumble, as the horns are abandoned in favor of the usual rot and rue. This would almost be borderline, if it weren't intent in dying in its sad demographic.

Arctic Monkeys "Teddy Picker": Alex Turner is one of the few indie singers whose singing I like; he's pushy but finds his way to quick melodicism 'cause of the way his voice quavers higher or lower at the end of each line. But I just borrowed this album from the library and listening to it is a TERRIBLE experience. Nonetheless it's interestingly terrible in that the sound is all wrong. The bass and drum are just jabbing at you like a neurotic digging his fingers into your palms. This has a beat like a stick, not a beat that moves, simply one that cuffs you around the ears. Cuffs and palms, but nothing for the feet, nothing to do with dance, no rockin' in its rock. So what there is of melody stands on its own, while the band fires staple guns at our heads and throws bombs at our stomachs. If I weren't swamping myself with year-end catch-up I'd listen a lot to try to get into it, just to make sense of it. The record is strange enough that I might achieve something by liking it. Did the album actually sell well? Did it come near to the first album's sales? I'd be flabbergasted if it did.

Foo Fighters "Long Road To Ruin": Awful, thin dull singing, gets nice when the guitar and harmonies fill this out, but then the fullness gets muddled and irritating too.

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lockedintheatti.livejournal.com

'505' and 'Flourescent Adolescent' are both great - in fact the latter is probably my favourite track by them, but I'd agree, apart from that a lot of the second album is a mess.

It's one of the 10 best sellers of the year in the UK, so it's certainly done OK - and is probably going to be the best-selling indie album of the year - but it hasn't sold as much as the first one though.

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koganbot

By the way, when is the deadline for ticking these polls. I have to go back to all those that I overlooked in June and July.

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There's usually no official chart in week 52 because of christmas/new year so I'm going to do a big reminder post then and get people to shout out for overlooked tracks.

And then the weekend before the first chart of 08 will be when I actually do the final totting up.

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There's usually no official chart in week 52 because of christmas/new year

Hm are you sure about that? I notice that there are no week gaps on e.g. Chart Stats (http://www.chartstats.com/chart.php?week=20061223) or polyhex, and their data conform perfectly to other official chart data in all instances I've checked. (The link goes to the week of 23/12/2006, with buttons to next and previous weeks etc.)

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What they tend to do is repeat the previous chart - so in polyhex you'd see it listed just as a non-mover.

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I still can't make that fit... Search e.g. for the song "21st Century Christmas" on polyhex (use Start Of Field option). It entered on 23/12/2006, and has the run 2-7-43, ie no nonmovage there. And Chart Stats agrees that these were the placings on 23/12/2006, 30/12/2006 and 06/01/2007 respectively. It could of course be that these both use the same non-official data for the interim week...?

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jeff-worrell.livejournal.com

I wonder why it's the Andy Williams version that got the downloaders' nod. Surely loads of people have done this song(?)

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Here is a fanvid (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2urlriwjcg) with synchronised outdoor wobs lightning!

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On checking the chart history of "Last Christmas", I was really surprised that it hasn't been in since 1986! I had the impression that it was wheeled out more or less every year for at least minor charting.

¤ Elvis + Christmas: I'm just gonna close my eyes and NOT TICK these, sorry.
¤ Cascada: Not really up for decent-enough bosh now, I notice. NO TICK.
¤ Arctic Monkeys: Not all that bad or anything, but nah. NO TICK. Haha, "save it for the morning after" wtf.
¤ Enemy: Voice gets annoying pretty quick, but I like the backing a lot -- that echoey, 60s (/c86) retrofetish sound. TICK.
¤ Gelderblom: No need, really. NO TICK.
¤ Holiday: Great beat I think, have some trouble with vocals (on youtube). But TICK.
¤ Foo Fighters: Haha yes the video. But I also quite like the song in a way I never seem to do with the FFs. Surprising myself with a TICK.

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