A kung fu fighter in a disco

It's very tempting to not tick any of these on the principle that they are Not Britney Spears. Britney Britney Britney Britney Britney. Ahem, sorry.

Leona - I do like this actually - it's the snare. And she has a great voice blah blah blah and it's a catchy tune. Yes she is singing about PERIODS but I'll let her off. Tick.

Take That - awww I like this, the chorus has that lovely soaring feel. Different to Patience somehow, totally appropriate for fantasy film soundtrack. Tick.

McFly - arrrgh stupid drummer McFly, I still haven't forgiven him for the haircut. The song is quite whack and the video is RUBBISH. Bad McFly no biscuit.

Oasis - better than most recent efforts but still teeth-aching vocally. The music sounds a bit like Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Still nowhere near a tick.

Elvis - whatevs

Backstreet Boys - good video featuring an ECLIPSE (do you see they are inconsolable that the SUN has GONE), smashing overblown hand-clenching chorus. It takes a while to get going but definitely worth a tick.

N Dubz - strange track this, 2 chaps and 1 lass get a third of the song each. They seem quite angry. The video is TERRIFYING. Borderline non-tick.

Samim - YAY MINIMAL ACCORDION TECHNO tick tick tick. This was playing in HMV the other day and I looked down and my fingers were TOUCHING THE VINYL of this, totally randomly. I very nearly bought it. I still might.

Chris & T - average hip-hop. Botherd. Can I go back and listen to Britney now kthx?

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The N-Dubz is video isn't terrifying it's hilarious. I think they're trying to look tough but it just comes across as sweet.

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chezghost.livejournal.com

I was a fan of N-Dubz 'Feva Las Vegas' single from earlier this year - the video to that one is pretty funny too.

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They were on Radio 1 (Annie Mac or summat) the other day and were quite entertaining in their naffness. The record has potential. I gave them the benefit of the doubt.

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OK, having heard again and watched both the videos Lex links to below, I can agree this song is brilliant. Reminds of A LOT of the BEPs circa Elephunk.

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freakytigger.livejournal.com

I haven't heard ANY of these before, having somehow avoided prior discussion on Leona and McFly.

LEONA LEWIS: There's something very 1989 about the production here, it sounds like a Fine Young Cannibals track or something. Leona does a decent job tho - tick.

TAKE THAT: Can I just say how much I hate videos which start with someone walking onto the video set? TIME-POOR CONSUMERS DUDES. Anyway, this is a ballad. Ballads work when they have mentalism or beauty and this is quite pleasant but lacks either. No tick.

MCFLY: Outstandingly rubbish lyrics - come on McFly you can do better than this. See above ballad comments. No tick.

OASIS: LOL@ digital only single release only getting to #10. Rock n roll man. "I got a habit that a cat won't lick"???? In the pub it was pointed out to me that this rly doesnt sound like Liam or Noel singing and is probably IN ALL BUT NAME a Heavy Stereo record. No tick - control yr surprise.

BACKSTREET BOYS: In what sense did they actually 'go away' in order to comeback? It rly is boyband ballad week isnt it. Disappointing lack of heft from the erstwhile masters of the form though. No tick.

N-DUBZ: This is some kind of teenage UK black eyed peas thing...? The fearsomeness of the first kid going on about how he wants to snatch purses is somewhat lessened by the incredibly stupid had in the video. Nasal chorus rly annoying. I want to tick it but no.

SAMIM: OMG AN ACCORDION!! Hurrah! Accordion dub in effect. Summer balearic hit I'm guessing. This is marvellous. BIG TICK. Like a missing Grid hit. Hold on is this minimal??

CHRIS BROWN ft T-PAIN: Modulated voices good, hook OK, borderline tick I think.

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It is minimal! And VERY AWESOME. I posted a link to the video on

morehardcrew a few weeks ago. The best bits are where the accordion & the bong-bing noise drop out and it all goes spidery-out-of-phase snare for a few seconds, then BAM straight back to the "Vweeee-werrr, ver-ver-VEE-VEE-VEE-VEE-VEE-VEE-VEE-VEE-VEE-V-V-V-V-V Vweeee-werrr" and so on. Marvellous.

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I am utterly mystified about it. Especially as everyone seems to be raving about it, and I can't understand why.

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When I first heard it I was kind of surprised myself - I liked it but the accordion riff didn't seem to be enough of an earworm a la M.A.N.D.Y and Booka Shade's 'Body Language'. But it's really grown on me - still slightly amazed and thrilled that a rekkid on GET PHYSICAL is in the top 40!

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The dude is on Get Physical, trendy label owned by M.A.N.D.Y & featuring Booka Shade - much cred there.

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I'm really impressed that it's become a hit without any sort of sellotaped-on vocal.

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Some Leona comments here (http://community.livejournal.com/poptimists/460773.html), if anyone missed it.

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The B-side, Forgiveness, which charted separately outside the top 40 (which is a first, apparently) is much better in my opinion, although I have to admit Bleeding Love is really growing on me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qIP91_zNmg&watch_response

Production sounds really dated on both though, which I presume was deliberate.

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Contrary to the consensus on Leona I think her voice is a bit rub. In this case, at least, she lets the song down.

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Leona: it's a really bland song, but I like her voice and the production just about enough to make it any good at all.

Samim: Can't see what all the fuss is about, just coz it's got an accordion in it. I'd much rather hear In-Grid's Tu Es Foutu (why was that never a hit in the UK?) for accordion-based dance music.

McFly: They keep churning the out, don't they? And pretty consistently too. This is lovely, and much better than Take That & the BSBs who are in a broadly similar vein and both just sound like they're treading water.

n-Dubz: They look about 12 in the video. Which is part of the charm.

The others: Blah.

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Leona - as discussed this is OK and might grow on me more. Love the snare drum, don't love the imagery so much, LOVE the voice, not so keen on the safety of it all but it's not as safe as it could have been so TICK.

Take That - gosh this is very pompous and dull, actually. At this point they're not different from Snow Patrol or whoever. NO TICK.

McFly - do not care about yr FEELINGS in any way boys, just get yr cocks out innit. NO TICK.

Oasis - hahahahahaha like I even care about the worst band ever. MINUS TICKS.

Elvis - wvs.

Backstreet Boys - THIS is how you do an overblown ballad, Take That! The moment which totally makes it for me is the cheesy OTT bit where all the instruments drop out and AJ goes "I! Climb! The walls!"

N-DUBZ - OMG THIS IS AMAZING BRITISH POP WILL SURELY BE SAVED IF THESE PEOPLE DO WELL! It's the actual kidz on the bus making an actual record and it is TERRIFIC. Points of note: awesome interview on BBC site (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7045841.stm), "if you don't have N Dubz on your phone, or you don't have an N Dubz Dappy hat, you're not cool". I like the three distinct characters in the group and the way they interact with each other. The two videos are interesting: this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=xR9VeUdTzRM) is what's obviously the original 'street' one, kidz running around on road, dogs, girl in tracksuits, piss-taking swimming pool scenes; and this (http://youtube.com/watch?v=afRWgVYkcjs) is the official Polydor one, which is also good (stage setting works very well) but v much...post-makeover. Especially the girl. ALL THE TICKS IN THE WORLD.

Samim - haha I cant' believe minimal techno is in the top 40. Hurrah! TICKS.

Chris Brown - omg I forgot how great he was! I much prefer this kind of hyper-sexualised twink-r&b to the soppiness of Mario et al. This is probably my favourite of all this week - tremendous fun to dance to, you can really go to town on yr moves. Even better than 'Run It' and 'Gimme That'!

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freakytigger.livejournal.com

The dynamic of N-Dubz reminded me vaguely of the IT Crowd.

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I spent the afternoon wondering what this meant and am not really any closer!

I did however realise that 'Heater' is the first top 40 single of the year which I actually bought with money as a single (download off beatport).

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justfanoe.livejournal.com

I am actually going to listen to the songs this week.

Leona: Pretty, she has a good voice, but this is way worse than it could be. Also way better than it could be. I wish they hadn't drummed up the production so much, but it still gets a tick.

Take That: Standard boy band ballad from the normal template. Plucky piano, airy voices, building up into big chorus. It's totally cliched and not even well done. Pale imitation of BSB. No tick.

McFly: My, that's one awfully rainy video. This is some kind of Fray/Coldplay type soft rock song and it's just OK. There are a few examples of this type of music that I like ("Over My Head", e.g.), but this one is just kinda boring. I only know a few McFly songs, so is this song typical of their overall body of work. Marginal non-tick.

Oasis: I like the guitar hook on this song but the vocals and "melody" are awful. Despite the guitar hook, this is horrible. No tick.

Elvis: Very cheesy lyrics, this is a good Elvis song though. Still, no tick out of principle.

BSB: I wasn't really looking forward to this but it instantly grabbed me. This isn't as good as "Incomplete", which it sounds just like, but it's still great. This is my favorite type of cheesy ballad (like a male version of Celine or Mariah at their best!), and these guys are still the masters. Hearty tick.

N-Dubz: What a bizarre band this appears to be. This is one of the weirdest videos I've ever seen. The wtf-ness and the video and everything else, other than the song itself, is brilliant. The song itself is pretty good as is. WHAT THE HELL? Tick.

Samim: What the hell is this doing here? It kinda makes me sad that this could never go top 40 in America. Probably my favorite this week, this or BSB. Enthusiastic tick.

Chris Brown: This song is #2 in America right now, and will probably go #1 next week. I like Chris Brown in general, but this one doesn't really seem to go anywhere. No tick.

That's 2 enthusiastic ticks, one marginal tick, and one other solid tick, which is a pretty darn good slate.

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Ha otm about Leona being both way worse and way better than it could have been.

This isn’t v typical of McFly’s stuff – their forte is uptempo Beatlesy guitar pop. I like that better than their balladry but it’s still not very good; however they’re great to have around.

For all our recent moaning about Radio 1, N-Dubz and Samim are really good adverts for the station as a force for good.

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I am HIGHLY DISPLEASED with the lack of love for N-Dubz/Samim/Chris Brown. BUCK YR TASTES UP, PEOPLE, I have seen what you have ticked before.

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