video club: part EPIC FAIL

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

aka, when bad videos happen to great songs.

First, a song I've been meaning to post for a while - 'Damaged', the new single from US girl group Danity Kane (apparently named after an imaginary animé character thought up by one of them) finds them leaping on the 4/4-r&b train with gusto - think Janet Jackson's 'Feedback' with more pizzazz and less icky period references. What makes this spectacular as opposed to just very good is the vocal arrangement. This song makes better use of five vocalists than any other girl group song I've heard recently, and almost every line has a really wonderful counterpoint vocal shooting off at some tangent. Plus, the lyric "Do - do you got a first aid kit handy?" is TOTES AWESOME.

The video is absolutely DREADFUL and you shouldn't really pay attention to it. I'm serious, if you have any antipathy to the colour pink whatsoever you should probably browse away in another window while this is playing.

Next, Britney herself. We all know and love 'Break The Ice' already, right? It's one of the Blackout highlights for me and definitely worthy to be a single (nb: this applies to like nine songs on the album). Love the synths (which sound extra-majestic on headphones), love the really propulsive beat (probably the easiest song on the album to dance to), love the...weird structure, in that when the beat drops out at the two-minute mark for the spacehopper break, it NEVER RETURNS. That's kind of awesome, though I'd be lying if I say I'm not fantasising about an extended version wherein, instead of ending the song at three minutes, Britney brings the beat back in and carries on for another four minutes or forever or whatever.

Oh yeah, the video: as La Spears is currently indisposed, we get a hastily cobbled-together animé short with no plot or point or anything. Animé Britney manages to be an even worse performer than Real Britney 08.

Finally, Janet Jackson's new single, 'Rock With U'! Video isn't as much of a FAIL as the others - actually it's not really a FAIL at all, it's just not very exciting, but I still wanted to put the song in here. It's less of a song than a feeling, really, with those bass pulses and everything. HOUSE IS A FEELING. Can we have '2nite' as the next single please? (NB: Janet's album Discipline = pretty good!)

Comments

WHORE DIAMOND RATINGS

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Danity Kane: 6 for song, 1 for video
Britney: 7 for song, 1 for video
Janet: 5 for song, 3 for video

[credoimprobus]

Excuse me while I am HUGELY EXCITED abt the news that Danity Kane are back! Their debut album = so one of the best things to happen to 2006.

(Can't comment on the song itself yet, my super-slow connection means it'll take rather a while to load.)


As much as I approve of Break the Ice as a single (Keri!), I'm kind of disappointed that Radar didn't end up the next one after all. If its propensity to get enormously stuck in my head is anything to go by, it'd be grebt single material.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

I never heard the first DK album! I kind of lumped them and Cherish together as sub-PCDs (though the new Cherish stuff is pretty good too, may post 'Killa' at some point).

There are so many potential singles on Blackout it's ridiculous. I'd love to see 'Hot As Ice' as a single, if there's another one though it'll probably be 'Toy Soldier' innit.

[credoimprobus]

The first DK album is awesome. There's like one poor song and only a couple of mediocre ones on it, everything else is pure gold. You should def check it out! (Mind, I'm pretty easy, so I can't vouch you'll like it as much.)

Have now listened to Damaged, and man, I love the slowdown at the end. (Diddy in spite, haha.)

[datura800.livejournal.com]

I actually love the Janet video - think it really suits the song and is subtly clever.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

yeah you're right, it isn't really a FAIL - I like that it's a one-shot job and the dancing really catches the rhythm of the song (which seems obvious but so many videos don't get this) (DANITY KANE). have you heard the album? how good is '2nite'! also yeah Daft Punk samples should be played out but 'So Much Betta' does it with class.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

This too shall pass!

I shall check the first DK, definitely.

[mindtaker-cro.livejournal.com]

yeah, "2nite" is killer! and "So Much Betta" is totally badass.

here's a nice 4x4 tune for the new Danity Kane lp (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWGoJdZXXos). hehe, r&b's so popjustice-friendly these days!

btw did you know that LINA HAS A NEW ALBUM!!! :-o

it's a bit like her last one: still toning down the debut's quirkiness but also still keeping a fine distance from a full-on neo-soul plunge + plenty of vintage jazz samples floating in and out as ever. i'm still soaking it all in but so far i'd say: second half of the album much stronger than the first, very pretty in places though no ballad is quite as swoonsome as "It Could Be" or "This Time", and as opposed to the last album there are some worthwile uptempo bits - "Mr DJ" echoes the elegiac tones of Cassie's "In Love with the DJ", and "Thru the Fire" - which you can hear on her myspace (http://www.myspace.com/linamusic) - is super-fun!

[koganbot]

I've generally found Janet terminally blasé, just never cared about her, but several times this decade (can't remember any of the song titles) I've quite liked something of hers, and this is one of those times - maybe because the track doesn't require her to be anything but a cloud-like presence. Think you might even be underrating it. (Surely this isn't 5 out of 10! What's the top score?)

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

The WHORE DIAMOND scale goes up to 7! '2nite' is the real standout off Discipline.

One thing I've always wondered is - how was Janet first received when she started her solo career? Because these days siblings of established pop stars don't seem to get too much respect, at least initially - the assumption that they're piggybacking on the family name. But Janet seems to have established herself as a genuine superstar, entirely separate to her brother.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

OMG Lina! I don't think I ever heard the whole of the last album (was it called The Inner Beauty Movement or something?) - can't remember being grabbed like I was by the first album, but she's always worth paying attention to because she's so kooky. 'Playa No Mo' = great lost 00s r&b track. If I didn't love 'Hit Em Up Style' as much I'd hate Blu Cantrell for jacking Lina's steez so obviously and succeeding with it.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

OK OK now I have 'Radar' stuck in my head FOREVER: On my raider! On my raider! When you walk (when you walk)! And when you talk (when you talk)!

[mindtaker-cro.livejournal.com]

i like "Rock with U" but that "i wanna rock with uuuuuuu" autotuned back vocal in the chorus is a bit TOO much "Piece of Me", which is in a nutshell what i dislike about the - otherwise quite good - new album: she's completely ditched Jam & Lewis in favor of all the producers du jour, sounding less Janet-y than ever. ok, Stargate in disco-mode fit her like a glove, "Luv" is classic Janet sweetness, "Rollercoaster" and "So Much Betta" are prime hard-Janet, but still i miss that chemistry between her and Jam & Lewis, them & Janet were an amazing team who did amazing things for twenty years (even "20 yo" had its moments!) and i'm sure they could do more, even if they progressively fail to ignite the public's interest (which i'm not sure will be really ignited with Stargate/TheDream et al, Janet is a sex-fiend and she keeps cooing on about it while people tend to think playing sex-kitten is undignifed of a woman her age, more so with every passing year)

[mindtaker-cro.livejournal.com]

I don't think I ever heard the whole of the last album (was it called The Inner Beauty Movement or something?)

yeah, that's the title! a bit unfortunate title, terrible artwork too, but that's the price of going indie-r&b i guess. have you heard "This Time" and "It Could Be"? i'll upload em tonight if you haven't, they're quite special. and you chould check out the new album, definitely.

[koganbot]

First two albs she was just another Jackson who wasn't Michael in the public mind (not that I have any idea what those records sound like); third alb when she went with Jam & Lewis was massive. By now this was the late '80s. My speculation is that at that point she gained fans from being Michael's sister and she also gained fans for being vastly more normal-seeming than Michael. Also, the beats and sound didn't hurt, obv.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

yeah when I first heard the album I was like, hmm, it's all a bit five minutes ago - kind of grasping around for the hott producers and sounds du jour - but I think 'The 1' is the only one of the bangers which isn't good enough to overcome this.

I never really heard 20 YO! tbh Janet really lost me with Damita Jo, 'All Nite (Don't Stop)' aside. but it's never the subject matter I object to, I kind of admire her for sticking so resolutely to the sex talk - I also don't think there should be an age limit on talking about sex.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

I never heard them but I think I might get the album off Amazon marketplace anyway...

Yes I am only just catching up on a week of poptimists...

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

OK the last minute of the DK video is hilarious. They've drawn a heart shape on the bloody x-ray! But yes, otherwise epic fail that is nearing Girls Aloud's 'Wake Me Up' in terms of imagination-lack.

As for Britney, well... This 'effort' is so fucking shocking that it's starting to make me like the song less. And I *like* anime as a genre! It's really and truly terrible, and I hope that she gets better soon and makes a different one.

Janet: not as good as when she's swimming in milk.

Re: Yes I am only just catching up on a week of poptimists...

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

honestly, it's not even the lack of imagination which kills it, it's the REALLY UGLY lighting and also the terrible make-up. What is with that awful shade of pink-purple? Why is such a colour even allowed?? And the close-ups make all of them look plastic.