Mysteries Of Pop - Part 2

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

Attack Of The Clones

After literally days of intense research into the murky underworld of pop, another conundrum has surfaced!

Your correspondent has reason to believe that for some time now, none other than recent poptimists canon star Lionel Richie has been a major player in the seedy world of human cloning. Every supervillain slips up at some point; Richie's error was to release the 1978 ballad publicly describing his declaration of evil intent, Three Times A Lady.

The first suspected occurrence of such nefarious activity was just a few months later, when Chaka Khan approached Richie asking for his professional opinion. Khan, having recently parted ways with funk outfit Rufus, was determined to make an impact with her new single I'm Every Woman and innocently asked Richie if he knew of any suitable backing singers. Richie agreed to help out but instead hypnotised the singer and stole her DNA, telling Khan that Whitney Houston and Whitney's mum Cissy had provided the backing vocals. However video evidence shows the contrary - there are no less than FIVE independent Chakas belting out the disco classic. Whilst Khan may not have been every woman, she had more than her fair share of the populace.

Richie's experimentation during the eighties appeared to have taken a turn for the egocentric. Instead of cloning others, in 1984 Richie attempted to create replica of himself. Luckily for us, a worldwide clay famine meant that his blind henchwoman had only enough material for one head. Rumours concerning Richie's "secret lair" under Mount Lishan abounded at the time but were never proved.

Richie kept a low profile until 2003 when suddenly, Liberty X multiplied exponentially upon releasing newfangled mash-up Being Nobody. Although the group was not overtly linked with Richie, the Chaka Khan connection was too much of a coincidence to be dismissed. Further investigation that year revealed multiple Justin Timberlakes in the Rock Your Body video. Where will Lionel's madness end? The authorities are desperate for further clues to track him down once and for all - can you help?

Do you have any pop mysteries for Detective Kat to try and solve? Email katstevens@livejournal.com...