JUDGE POP Returns

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

We welcome back JUDGE POP from a hard week patrolling the mean streets of Mega-City Pop, with only his six types of bullet standing between him and a host of lawbreaking perps.

Some of Judge Pop's cases - such as the return of Cud - are easily solved. Others present a stiffer test. Take imminent No.1 chirpstress Lily Allen, for example. Keith Allen's daughter playing pop-ska and singing about smiling - the saviour of the summer or an apalling musical crime. Judge Pop needs YOUR help in deciding!



[Poll #763994]

Thankyou, citizen. Now move along to the comment box.

Comments

[awesomewells.livejournal.com]

I am disgusted that the fans are outnumbering the haters four to one. I am disappointed in all of you.

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

It's because she's clearly amazing.

Anyone who appears on T4 On The Beach pissed out of their skull gets my vote.

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

If it was just on "Smile", I would be voting against.

[boyofbadgers.livejournal.com]

Dude, she is rly good!

[awesomewells.livejournal.com]

Not as good as the Pipettes.

[jauntyalan.livejournal.com]

LEAVE

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Lallen <<< Pipettes <<<<<<<< most other artists in the whole world <<<<<<< Paris

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

All of her songs that I've heard are GOLD, apart from "Littlest Things" which is maybe Silver.

[jeff-worrell.livejournal.com]

She is the Ian Dury de nos jours (= a good thing)

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Haha I was just arguing about her on mine lj with avv!

She is irritating and has an irritating voice and irritating Allbran-esque Mockneyisms and really, really awful lyrics and even worse and most unforgivably SHE MAKES SODDING SKA MUSIC (yes yes yes Paris H I know but Paris is different). She is like a one-woman Ordinary Boys.

I have listened to all the songs which were on her myspace once - none stood out apart from 'Ldn' which was unbearably ghastly. I have no idea which one 'Smile' was.

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

It's the one about how glad she is that her ex boyfriend is utterly miserable.

[jeff-worrell.livejournal.com]

I don't find her voice irritating at all. It sounds like she's singing to herself while sorting out her washing in the laundrette.

Some of the lyrics are dodgy (a bit too spiteful) but on the whole I'm prepared to forgive this. As should Judge Pop.

[chezghost.livejournal.com]

the Paris track is more like 'proper' cod-reggae than ska anyway. it reminds me a lot of BIG MOUNTAIN.

[bengraham.livejournal.com]

Lily Allen is TEH ACE! Lyrically, she's as good a poet as Morrissey, Mike Skinner or any of the other "great lyricists", and funny to boot, musically she's the sound of the summer, a fresh breezy chunk of pop goodness.

"Oh Jesus Christ almighty,
Do I feel alright? No not slightly,
I wanna get a flat I know I can't afford it,
It's just the bureaucrats who won't give me a mortgage"

"Nah, I've gotta go, my house is on fire.... I've got herpes, er, no, I've got syphilis"

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Haha I really really hate Morrissey and Skinner's* lyrics too!

*I now discount Original Pirate Material completely as it was clearly fluke genius and possibly not really Mike Skinner

on the face of it

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

"It's just the bureaucrats who won't give me a mortgage" is a TERRIBLE line (though i imagine it can be redeemed by delivery)

Re: on the face of it

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

I'm imagining Paris singing it and silently guffawing to myself.

[cis.livejournal.com]

Morrissey, Mike Skinner or any of the other "great lyricists"

DOES NOT COMPUTE

[catsgomiaow.livejournal.com]

Just... not convinced by Ver Lily. Sorry y'all...

[catsgomiaow.livejournal.com]

Top marks for eyeshadow though.

here's what i hate

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

the SALAD OF ALL THE ALLENS

[whalefish.livejournal.com]

I'm putting Lily Allen in the box marked 'good, but overrated'. I like Smile and a couple of others, but the rest just floats over my head a bit.

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

Yes, the draconian nature of justice in Mega-City Pop means you only get two choices, but if there was an "alright, innit" box I'd tick that. I think she's a better thing than she is a worse thing.

[whalefish.livejournal.com]

If she gets as far as a second album you could do it again, but with an "alright, still" box.

[mippy.livejournal.com]

She's no Jandek.

[juror8.livejournal.com]

I've said it before...

[chezghost.livejournal.com]

is that Mark 'S Express' Moore up top?

[chezghost.livejournal.com]

inspired by this photo i say GET 1x LILY/MIA COLLAB STAT

might as well throw Sov in an' all

[carsmilesteve.livejournal.com]

i had no idea the backlash had begun already...

[byebyepride.livejournal.com]

Backlash begins before the career now, innit.

[koganbot]

Xhrist, the backlash started last March.

"Smile" isn't close to being my favorite Lily. I'd go with "LDN," though this is all based on demos, and there're some album tracks I haven't heard.

She sings like she's a six-year-old with finger paints, as supervised by a smart 20-year-old.

[nicolars.livejournal.com]

I'm glad Judge Pop will be taking care of Cud, their return frightened me.

[bengraham.livejournal.com]

Just a thought.... since the backlash already appears to have started, I'm intrigued to know how many people have actually heard the album, rather than the two tracks that have had massive airplay, which coincidentally are two of the same tracks that appear on her MySpace?

'Smile' and 'LDN' are quite catchy, but by no means the best things on her album, which, I must confess I've had on repeat all week. In fact, according to my iTunes, I've listened to the album in full 9 times this week. I am 1 X OBSESSED!

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

I'm guessing the people who've heard "Smile" and/or "LDN" and disliked them haven't heard the album. And why should they?

I dl'ed a couple of tracks Kat recommended for Poptimism, not played them yet tho.

[celentari.livejournal.com]

Yep, I like the first track on the album best of all. It's like a children's nursery rhyme, and I mean that as a good thing.

[koganbot]

In April she was shuffling six or seven tracks on and off her MySpace page; at the peak she was getting about 40,000 plays a day.

[dansette.livejournal.com]

Better than you'd expect for someone who began life in Keith Allen's scrotum but still bad!

[braisedbywolves.livejournal.com]

She should Return To The Scrotum immediately!

(I don't actually have an opinion, but joke was too good to waste)

[sbp.livejournal.com]

What will JUDGE POP give Lily Allen?

One up the a*se?

(I can't believe nobody's said that yet....)

[koganbot]

Actually, I think that so far her prose is better than her song lyrics. You know whom she reminds me of? Ally Kearney in 2001. 'Cept Ally flees her own talent, while Lily is probably going to deepen hers.

A wooly liberal writes

[jel-bugle.livejournal.com]

I heard her song, it wasn't really my thing. There needs to be a third option, like an ASBO, or something.

Re: A wooly liberal writes

[chezghost.livejournal.com]

it's just Classic or Dud basically.

Re: A wooly liberal writes

[jel-bugle.livejournal.com]

Okay, I thought it was Lolly gone street.