The Showdown

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

http://www.stylusmagazine.com/feature.php?ID=1868

The 'good stuff' (actually almost all of it IS except Andy Bell) and I have learned two things:

- The Lex and I seem to be in hivemind mode this week (Goat Team aside)

- John Cameron is the least pop man in the Universe.

Comments

[umlauts.livejournal.com]

The Andy Bell is amazing, Tom, you are mentalist. Also, favourite bit is how Dom misspells my already deliberately misspelt name into something even more exotic and perfect and also INCREDIBLY rude.

How can TATU get zero from ANYONE?

[atommickbrane.livejournal.com]

Oh come on though, I mean it's pretty much a carbon copy! Admittedly a carbon copy of GREATNESS and I wub it ect ect but I couldn't have given it a 10 just cos the chorus is so sledgehammeringly similar! 9.5 perhaps haha. Not that I write for these stupid single reviews anyway ARF.

[umlauts.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's a template, but it's an expansion; attack, not defiance. The Sapphism has become psychological (as I've said over and over, including in my crap unused blurb). And and and, also, the differing intonations on the same line in ATTSS was its secret weapon, and nobody seemed to notice this so I am glad to have this trick back.

There've been a few songs that totally have ripped off TATU, can't bring names to mind, there's a German one from this year, but NONE of them can pull that amazing trick off.

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

Psychological sapphism I fear may not sell as many records as the physical sort.

Wonder Woman's battle cry in the 60s was "Sufferin' Sappho!" incidentally.

[umlauts.livejournal.com]

It's doing OK in the midweeks. Top 10, but not top 5, it would seem.

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

Really?! Cool, it's getting zero airplay so that's fantastic.

[umlauts.livejournal.com]

Some of the wheat is doing quite poorly, though. Oh, the German ripoff of Tatu (same dynamics, quite differnet song) I was thinking of is "Ich kann dich heilen" by Aschenputtel.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

You and J-Pop are INSANE. The Andy Bell thing is one of the grimmest, lamest songs I've ever heard. It's DISGUSTING!

Will always takes my blurbs out whenever they refer to hipster dancing, viz. my 10/10 LCD Soundsystem one. I think it was cos I couldn't stop myself going on about the Lindstrom rmx.

I wonder what John Cameron thinks of us!

[umlauts.livejournal.com]

I feel the same thing about LCD Soundsystem! LAME. You are insane! Or something.

Admittedly, yes, once people get to a certain age they should have their knees sown together and have chips put in their skull to stop them talking about teh sex, but "Crazy" is still aces.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Do you like the Lindstrom rmx? I love the og as well but could seriously not comprehend anyone not liking that rmx.

I've always hated Erasure anyway. We have PSB, we never needed them!

[umlauts.livejournal.com]

The Lindstrom mix is a big improvement, because it gets rid of most of what's annoying about the original and replaces it with some kind of modern Europoppish mix of "Hot Stuff" and "I Feel Love", which is pretty genius. But it leaves those vocals on!

I actually pretty much disregard most of what LCDS has done, that one Juan McLean single aside that I quite liked.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

B-b-but what about 'Yeah' and 'Losing My Edge' and 'Daft Punk Is Playing At My House My House' and 'Beat Connection'! I have had some of the best times of my LIFE to those songs. Yeah most of the album proper is lame but they are one of the best live bands I've ever ever seen, and when they're on they're just unstoppable. I like the vox when they're shouty, not when they're singy.

[umlauts.livejournal.com]

No, no, no and no. My opinion on LCDS is that for such trailblazing people, their ideas have been done before for the main, and their disco is hugely unconvincing.

But then again, I hate fun and I can't dance. And we disagree on shouty vocals, you like them in artists I don't, and I in those that you don't, tho I can't think of specific examples and such.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Does anyone consider them that trailblazing? They're just uber-hedonistic brain-slamming fun for me.

Also I think they're one of those bands best experienced with other people, preferably a POSSE, so you can all shout YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH and punch the air together.

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

"Tribulations" was amazing live at Glastonbury.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

I can imagine that being AMAZING.

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

It was particularly good cos they were in the John Peel Tent and it had been a day of remorseless underachieving neo-garage and neo-Britpop wank, and suddenly LCD Soundsystem BROUGHT THE BEATS. And they opened with "Beat Connection"!!

I was in a somewhat delicate medical state by that time but our tent was well in earshot so I sat in my camping chair and punched the air.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

They're best when you're completely dazed by a night a few days of rave rave rave, aren't they? Sprawling and drunken enough to reflect you're state of mind but banging enough to make you continue. One of my favourite LCD non-live moments was putting 'Daft Punk' on after Vitalic @ Fabric, when we should have gone to sleep or at least sat down, and it made us drink five more bottles of rosé and have a mini-rave in the living room.

[zenith.livejournal.com]

I like both the Andy Bell and ver Soundsystem!

[umlauts.livejournal.com]

I do secretly wish Andy Bell had given "Crazy" to, I don't know, Will Young or someone, mind.

[johnnyctunes.livejournal.com]

I think you're pretty awesome dudes! I just am befuddled as to why my opinion on Russian Lesbian Worker's Paradise differs from everyone else's.

I agree with you on Andy Bell, Alex. But I guess everyone probably knows that by now.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Yes I think if anyone had to hazard a guess as to your opinion of A Bell they would have got it right. Though really I can't imagine anyone liking that song and clearly I'm wrong there.

[johnnyctunes.livejournal.com]

I find TATU to be formulaic and obnoxious. Plus the lesbian "you are me and I am you and we are one person so let's sloppily make out" gets tiring after a while for me.

Oh, and the music is sledgehammer-blunt altmetal, to my ears at least.

But whatever! If pseudo-lesbian altmetalpop is your bag, then GO FOR IT!

[umlauts.livejournal.com]

I'm noting that it's OK for straight actors to act gay for a movie, but it's not OK for tATu to pretend for the purposes of what is in effect a three-minute piece of musical drama.

But then again, I'm love pop-metal and boys, so I'm biased. Obnoxious, you're right about that, but specifically, what precisely is formulaic about tATu?

What I do like about the UK jukebox is that we're not afraid to just say "I abhor this on every level, it makes me want to kill everything" and give something zero. I basically gave half the songs this week zero and the other half ten.

[johnnyctunes.livejournal.com]

From "Not Gonna Get Us":

Not gonna get us
They're not gonna get us
Not gonna get us
Not gonna get us

Starting from here, let's make a promise
You and me, let's just be honest
We're gonna run, nothing can stop us
Even the night that falls all around us


From "All About Us":

They say
They don't trust
You, me, we, us
So we'll fall
If we must
Cause it's you, me
And it's all about
It's all about


Just two examples; it's kind of flimsy. But I only know the band from their singles, which happens to be what we're reviewing, and which happen to not only lack lyrical subtelty and finesse, but also lack the ability to creatively tackle subject matter. We get it. You're lesbians. The world hates you. Do you have anything different to say about it?

On the other hand,

a) I liked "All The Things She Said."

b) I have to give them credit that they were creative enough to tack on the "lesbians" bit. Linkin Park are all the directionless rage and angst, none of the titillating soap-operatics.


P.S. Sometimes giving a song I loathe a zero makes my week just that much better. *cough*SEANPAUL*cough*

[umlauts.livejournal.com]

I've just been reminded that even though I was sure I hated them, I am totally buying the Linkin Park greatest hits album. "Crawling" = CHOON! and totally the proto-Tatu, except LP nowhere near as telegenic.

If you hate the us-against-them mentality of "All About Us", you're going to be giving minus scores to the next single, "Dangerous and Moving" even though it's even better, because it's bleaker, and is basically them being caught by those chasing them.

[johnnyctunes.livejournal.com]

My score will be directly proportionate to how badly it'll all end for them.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Sean Paul hate hurts me in my heart :(

I JUDGE THAT...

[dubdobdee.livejournal.com]

lex and e-wing are marking tatu down >:(

[braisedbywolves.livejournal.com]

Somewhere out there there's a Nickelback fan firing up a copy of whatever it was that made the split-headphones track three years ago.

[zenith.livejournal.com]

My Tatu review was also very, very similar, except I wrote all of "IF. THEY. HURT. YOU. etc" in capitals. I'm very glad they did so well, as I would have expected Sugababes or 'Tribulations' to do better (I gave all three 10, but Tatu is best, I think).

Unsurprisingly, Will cut out the first three sentences of my Charlotte Church review, which were about how the Kaiser Chiefs would not approve and how I would kill them horribly if I could.

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

Will quite rightly cut out the bit of my King Biscuit Time review which was basically "WTF are we doing reviewing this?" and he also changed the Goat Team review so that it was 'someone' who gave me the record to put on, rather than HIM HIM HIM.

(in fairness it might have been thenipper who asked me)

I seem to be the only person who thought the Charlotte Church was awful, oh well.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

I think the new Chaz Church is much better than 'Crazy Chick'! Not genius amazingness or anything but a solid 8/10.

[steviespitfire.livejournal.com]

She's still not getting the material she deserves. It's disappointing, but, I'm beginning to wonder [haha, second single!] if she ever will: she easily coast off her tabloid reputation, occasionally releasing sub-par tunes like this, for years to come.

[steviespitfire.livejournal.com]

A lot of, dare I say, poptimists are projecting a sense of hopefulness onto her, I think--like, "just think what she'd be like if she had the songs, people!", but, let's face it, the songs ain't all that at the mo.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, the singles aren't BAD. They're just not great. And she herself is great, and enough of a name already that she probably won't come across as too desperate (a la J O'Meara) any time soon. And, y'know, even most of the first Destiny's Child album was shit...I suspect she'll get better once she's stopped being all Look I Am Pop Now!

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

That was me btw. Idiot computer.

[juror8.livejournal.com]

Will cut my Charlotte Church blurb, which was just that gif of her jelly. And my "Albert Steptoe's chin" gag about Alexis Strum.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Chaz Church, she got big-ass titties.

[thejivesession.livejournal.com]

I do like it when the jukebox is in disagreement. I wish everything averaged 5.

:'(

[johnnyctunes.livejournal.com]

I was totally going to post "DON'T MAKE ME WRITE IN MY LIVEJOURNAL GUYS" but it wouldn't be funny or ironic or anything. I don't know why I typed that but I'm too lazy to delete it.

Anyways, yeah, I'm not as pop as I should be. But I'm learning! I just don't like tATu is all.