Well I do get that sometimes - I suppose I was talking about the "scenes" or "communities" around music: I think there was a brief period when I felt really allied to something, or an idea of something, and my scratching of the particular self-erasing itch I'm talking about in the article completed the process of cutting myself off from that.

Which probably explains partly why my 'work' as a critic has been so much about community-building! (Also the something I felt allied to was so much experienced through the music press that I idealised the press community as much as the music community)